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Waiting For Superman

My Journal

2/15/14


Today I don't want to be introspective. I want to just be superficial, which is kind of different for me, not in an arrogant way, just in a factual way. I thought it was interesting when I read an article about a guy who decided to follow Ben Franklin's schedule for a day. Ben left time for study and to deal with spiritual things. The author said he almost never did that, and it was an interesting thing for him to do. Thinking about big things like God and purpose and why we are here and doing research into those questions is something I grew up doing and something I do all the time. How can you not wonder about that? How can you just go through life and just go to work, come home, be with your someone, party sometimes and that is it. That is satisfying? Really? Don't you wonder about things as a whole? Don't you wonder why we are here or how, or do you just take science's or God's word for it and leave it at that. I guess in a way you could have more of your emotional energy available to fritter away on personal drama. That might be interesting. I know it is kind of a weight on me to wonder about my, and our purpose, to wonder what or who else is out there, and it is a huge itch I am just dying to scratch to see everything as it really is. I used to think I would just go to heaven and God would explain it all to me and I could live with that. Now I am not so sure I will ever know, and ugh, that is annoying.

But to live without that burden, to me is to live in a closet. To live in the small world of what I see now. I just need to get out into the air and breath and wonder, and make wild guesses and hope. So with that comes the burden of what I don't know, of making choices and just not knowing if they are the right ones because I can't have all the information. I can't see past death or into the new millennium, so I have to make some of my best guesses blind.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My Forever Kids










Here we have the older generation educating the younger.


Nina and Evan decided to build a marble mess, um track, in the boys room.
Arin is getting excited during some video game time playing Super Hero Squad Online. Really, though, what is there not to get excited about in this game, if you're Arin. I mean where else can you watch Ms. Marvel eat a pizza in one bite. Amazing.


And, of course, my baby doll Cory Scott, silly and stoic.


Friday, March 25, 2011

March for Midwives

On March 2, Todd, Cory and I went to the state capital building here in Raleigh to participate in a walk in favor of licensing midwives. We were so grateful that we had the option to have Cory at home. Unfortunately, now our midwife doesn't even want to sign any documents for us out of fear that she may get into legal trouble. While it is legal to be a midwife in North Carolina and legal for me to have my baby at home, it is illegal for a midwife to attend my home birth. Both sides of the home birth debate feel that theirs is the one that is the safest and most healthy. As with most debates there is very little hope in deterring either side from their opinions. I know that from where I stand home birth worked for us. Similar to hospital birth, it is very important to have a competent professional with you who knows what they are doing. I believe our midwife was an excellent example of the kind of midwife that can get a woman through a birth successfully. I think it is a shame that she is afraid of legal action simply for doing what she does so well for women who know what they are getting into and want what she offers. These are not back alley abortions we are talking about. They are beautiful births in a calm environment accompanied by a professional with training and equipment, but most importantly, compassion and understanding. I love my midwife for allowing me to have control of my birth, and I will do whatever I need to in her support to allow other women the option I had. Thanks, nameless midwife!